I Asked Women to Step Into Their Power. Then I Had to Do the Same.

Messy Is Better Than Nonexistent: What 8/8 Taught Me About Stepping Into Your Power

Before The Art of Energy on 8/8, I was nervous.

Not the cute kind of nervous where you already know everything is going to work out.

The kind where my brain had entered full analytical mode.

How are we going to fit 12 to 15 women into approximately 800 square feet divided between three rooms?

Where are the clothing racks going to go?

Are we doing this inside? Outside?

Is there enough room for everyone to move?

What am I even going to talk about?

Haven and I were figuring out the physical space while I was simultaneously figuring out the workshop itself.

There had also been plenty of distractions leading up to the evening, some of them disguised as "help," so by the time 8/8 arrived, I was already on high alert trying to protect the experience I wanted to create.

And somewhere underneath all of those logistics was one simple idea I couldn't let go of:

I wanted to talk about stepping into your power through clothing.

Clothing has always spoken to me

I don't see clothing and accessories as decoration alone.

I see them as tools.

They are some of the quietest ways we communicate who we are before we ever say a word.

Color speaks.

Texture speaks.

Shape speaks.

The way something moves when you walk speaks.

The pieces we choose to reveal, conceal, soften, exaggerate, celebrate, or hide all tell some kind of story.

We are visual beings. Whether we like it or not, people form impressions quickly.

But for me, the more interesting question isn't:

Am I dressed correctly for other people's expectations?

It's:

Does the story I'm telling actually feel like mine?

What are you communicating when you walk into a room?

How do you want to feel inside your clothes?

What parts of yourself are you allowing people to see?

And perhaps most importantly:

What story do you want people to experience when they experience you?

That is part of what Rise + Rebel has been teaching me.

The pieces I hand-select aren't meant to create a different woman.

They are meant to help reveal something that may already be there.

Maybe a little louder.

Maybe a little softer.

Maybe a little bolder.

Maybe finally visible.

Then something shifted in the room

During the workshop, each woman was invited to consider two things:

What am I releasing?

and

What am I choosing?

Eventually, the women stepped forward onto the stairs and spoke those choices aloud.

That was our version of the power walk.

One woman stood up and shared that she was ready to release her limiting beliefs around perfection and the pressure she had carried to be the "pretty, perfect one."

She was choosing to step into her power instead.

Something about that moment felt incredibly real.

And then another woman stepped forward.

And another.

I watched each of them use her own voice.

There was no one correct version of power.

Some were louder.

Some were quieter.

Some were emotional.

Some were playful.

Some were still figuring it out as the words left their mouths.

And that's when I felt the energy of the room shift.

What had begun with hesitation and vulnerability started turning into unity.

There was an unmistakable sense of women witnessing other women choose themselves.

Not perfectly.

Not theatrically.

Just honestly.

By the end of the experience, the room felt energized.

And somewhere inside me I had this very clear thought:

Holy shit. I did that.

And then my perfectionism entered the chat

Almost immediately afterward, my mind started reviewing everything.

The pauses.

The moments I looked at my notes.

The places where I could have transitioned more smoothly.

The things I wish I had explained differently.

The fact that I went with the flow instead of following some perfectly rehearsed script.

I was proud of myself.

And I was critiquing myself at exactly the same time.

There were things I would absolutely do differently next time.

There were things I didn't know until I experienced them.

There were things I could not have known because I had never facilitated this particular workshop in this particular room with these particular women before.

And I had to remind myself of something incredibly obvious:

I didn't know what I didn't know.

There is a difference between reflection and punishment.

Reflection says:

Next time, I know how I want to strengthen this.

Perfectionism says:

You should have somehow known how to do all of this perfectly before you ever tried.

Those are not the same thing.

And the irony wasn't lost on me.

I had just spent an evening asking women to release the beliefs that keep them small.

To use their voices.

To experiment.

To move beyond their comfort zones.

To allow themselves to be witnessed before everything felt perfectly figured out.

And then I went home and had to practice the exact same thing.

Maybe that was part of The Art of Energy too

I went into the evening believing I was facilitating an experience for other women.

I left realizing I was inside the lesson myself.

Because stepping into your power does not always look powerful while you're doing it.

Sometimes it looks uncertain.

Sometimes it involves notes.

Sometimes there are awkward pauses.

Sometimes you lose your train of thought.

Sometimes you're figuring out where to place a clothing rack ten minutes before people arrive.

Sometimes you look around afterward and immediately see twelve things you want to improve.

That doesn't mean you failed.

It means you have an experience to learn from.

And that matters.

Because I've spent enough time in my life waiting for things to become perfectly articulated before allowing myself to fully offer them.

But there is nothing to refine if nothing exists.

There is nothing to improve if you never begin.

There is no experience to learn from if you never give yourself permission to have the first one.

Messy is better than nonexistent.

Messy means I tried.

Messy means something happened.

Messy means I now know something I didn't know before.

Messy can become mastery if we're willing to stay curious enough to learn from it.

That feels very Rise + Rebel to me.

We show up.

We rise to the occasion.

And sometimes we have to rebel against the very voice inside ourselves insisting that showing up doesn't count unless we do it flawlessly.

So I'm taking my own medicine

If I were filling out the same card I handed the women that evening, I know what I would write now.

I am releasing the belief that my work has to be perfectly articulated before I am allowed to offer it.

I am choosing to keep showing up and learn by doing.

I don't know exactly what The Art of Energy will become from here.

Maybe another workshop.

Maybe something more intimate.

Maybe something completely different that I cannot see yet.

For now, I am allowing myself to be curious.

To listen.

To collect the feedback.

To notice what worked.

To honor what didn't.

And to remember that I showed up.

Sometimes that is the most powerful thing we can do.

If you joined us for The Art of Energy on 8/8, thank you for being part of the beginning.

And if you're curious about what Rise + Rebel is becoming, you can join the newsletter and stay close as I continue figuring it out in real time.

Because maybe becoming isn't supposed to look polished while we're inside of it.

Maybe we're just supposed to keep showing up.

Remember: No one is you and that is your power.